I Want to Break Bones

I will admit, the first time I ever wanted to learn a martial art it was because I wanted to learn all of those fancy moves that I'd seen people do on the "Chinese Action Theater" weekend TV program. Of course, I was also six years old at the time. A neighbor took pity on me and showed me some basic punches and kicks, so I thought I knew some karate until I got beat up by a kid who was really training. Thanks to my big brother, I learned a few dirty tricks (like grabbing the leg of a kicker and pushing him down), went back and beat the kid up, then we became friends (boys are weird; they beat each other up, then they like each other and tell other people not to hit their "friend"). After that, I didn't really have a lot of interest in the martial arts. I rarely went over the straight punches, front kick and side kick the neighbor showed me. Perhaps it put me at about the 6th Gup/Kyu level, but not much more.

Then came high school. For some reason, I started thinking about taking a martial art again. I saw a commercial that talked about the physical and mental benefits of martial arts classes and started thinking this was for me. However, the kicker came in when I fought a guy who was smaller than I was, who lost, but put up a good fight none the less. He impressed me. I figured that if training could help someone that small be able to survive a fight with a bigger person, perhaps it could help me out as well. HOWEVER, I NEVER THOUGHT THAT TRAINING WOULD MAKE ME INVINCIBLE.

So why does a grown man expect to turn into Steven Segal overnight?

Now, years later, I am encountered again and again by ADULTS who have the same delusions about martial arts that I did when I was five. "I want to learn how to break bones" they say. "I want to do that sh-t that Segal does, man!" Once people see the brown belt they go crazy: "Oh, you're almost a BLACK BELT! Can you teach?" "No", I respond. "Well, do you know how to break people's bones and sh-t like Segal does?" When I start to tell them how long it would take for them to be a Steven Segal IF he can REALLY fight like he does in the movies, they look at me like they want to attack ME? Why--because I am spoiling their fantasy. I am telling them that it takes a long time to become a master. And what's worse, I even tell them that they don't need to take lessons in order to be able to beat someone up. All they need is an imagination and a healthy dose of cruelty.

This usually makes them furious, and makes me want to rethink telling them the truth. However, I don't worry because I know that all they have to do is wait around until someone comes along who is willing to tell them what they want to hear. I and my words of truth are soon forgotten.

I will never expect to be invincible.

I will never expect to be invincible. I have beaten up people with formal training back when I had none. I have heard I don't know how many horror stories from family and friends about how they knocked out a "karate guy" with a stick, razor, shoe, tire iron, chain, chair or a well placed sucker punch. I've had my kicks fail me in some instances, and work for me in others. I've been told by members of the Marine Corps, SWAT Team, and Special Forces that even a ten year old kid is dangerous with a knife. Gavin DeBecker in his book "Real Fear" tells a story of how a three year old killed somebody with a gun (folks, you cannot karate chop or Chi-Gong a bullet away). And if that isn't enough, no matter how skilled you become, if enough people attack you, you are going to lose. No one man can beat up thirty other healthy men, no matter what the movies tell you. In real life, you will be bumrushed, kicked, shoved, grabbed, bitten, and worse.

So why do I train? It's simple: I train for the benefits. I still have the endurance, strength, and flexibility I had as a teenager, if not even more so. My balance and coordination have saved me from being injured in bad falls and kept me from being crippled by a jeep (it's true). My martial arts training has given me the ability to remain focussed and motivated in bad times. I'm not emotionally invulnerable, I feel pain, but I am able to keep going in spite of the bad times. The martial arts have led me to read about other subjects such as religion, philosophy, psychology, biology, and history. I have met all types of people, from all walks of life (both good and bad). It has opened up a world for me that I probably would never have bothered to check out otherwise.

But hey, I still want to break bones?

So what do you do when a grown man, who may even be older than you are, shows up and wants to learn how to fight like Segal, Bruce Lee, Jim Kelly, or Chuck Norris? Right now, nothing, because I am not yet an instructor. But when the day comes, I know I'm going to have to stick with the truth. This is why I know that I had better keep my day job and not teach full time until I retire (hopefully at 55). I cannot lie to people and tell them that just because they know a martial art they can defeat everyone else on Planet Earth. I cannot tell them that they will be learning how to do Chinna (bone/joint breaking techniques) in the blink of an eye. I can't even promise them that they will win every battle. What if the person they are fighting is ALSO a martial artist?

Perhaps the advice I was given by my first teacher will do: "I can't promise you that you will be able to beat up EVERYONE, but I can tell you that you will be able to REDUCE the number of people who can kick your butt. There is always someone stronger than you are out there, you just have to accept that fact. You are not even the only person in the world who is studying a martial art. The main thing you should eventually learn is how NOT to get into a fight in the first place."

Those words were enough to start me training and even get me to come back to it as an adult. I guess they are not enough for everyone.