My Recommended Falwell Targets

1. Fred of the Scooby Gang:
   • Wears a scarf.
   • Always hangs out with the girls yet has never ONCE tried to lay a finger on them, despite all that time they spend together in that van.
   • He's in great shape, is articulate, and well groomed.
2. Burt and Ernie:
   • Two grown men sharing the same room in an apartment.
   • What's up with that Rubber Duckie thing anyway????
3. Mister Rodgers:
   • 'Nough said. "Would you be mine? Could you be mine?".
   • I'm sorry, but a lot of women will tell you that most men are just not that freakin' pleasant unless they are trying toget some sex.
4. The Smurfs:
   • All of them. Especially Brainy Smurf.
   • All those guys living in a "Village" together and not one of them EVER wondered where were the Smurffetts until Gargamel invented one?
5. Zazu, the Bird from the Lion King:
   • If any of you have seen The Lion King you know what I'm talking about. "I, sir, am the king's majordomo!"
   • Maybe that's why he kept hanging around; he was hoping that Mufasa would switch.
6. Fat Albert:
   • Always hanging out with the fellas.
   • Is real sensitive and compassionate.
   • Has a good singing voice. "Hey hey hey!"
7. Black Falcon from the Justice League of America:
   • How many black men do you know that wear tights and hang around with a bunch of white men that also weartights?
8. Jerry Falwell:
   • He's probably gay and feels bad about it. That's why he made an ass out of himself attacking some puppet on a dull children's show.
   • Any adult who willingly watches that show without their kids forcing them to via tantrums and nagging has GOT to be struggling with something. If it ain't their sexuality, then it must be their sanity.
9. Barney:
   • Although Barney really wouldn't be a Falwell target in my book, I just wish he were a target period, because he getson my damn nerves.
   • I ESPECIALLY wish that the NRA would use himfor TARGET PRACTICE.

ALL OF THE ABOVE IS PROOF THAT YOU CAN READ INTO ANYTHING.