YOU MAY BE A GHETTO PROFESSIONAL IF....
My addition to the Ghetto Corporate realm:
- The sister sitting next to you on the subway is taking her curlers out of her hair and brushing it on the way to work
- You've ever had soul food at your staff meetings
- You have Colt 45, fried chicken and "poe-tay-tah" salad at your Xmas party
- The mail room doesn't have the phattest Xmas party this year, the COMPUTER DEPARTMENT does
- The head of your I.T. division is a cool black man
- You or your co-workers ever go out to get a fish "sam-mich"
- A white guy from your job begs you to take him to get some good "chittlin's". Note: he asks for "chittlin's" not "chitterlings"
- The gay men at your job dress as hip or better than most black guys do
- Your white boss says the following at a meeting "I ain't know what was up y'all. I's juss makin' sh_t up."
- Your white boss ever told you "don't go there" or to "talk to the hand" and you knew she meant it as a normal expression of hers
- The Pakistani and Indian guys at your job dress as hip as the black men do
- Your white co-workers know what a "wigga" is
- Your white supervisor submits a rap that is used to promote The United Way Campaign
- The white people at your job know how to do the Electric Slide
- Having dated lots of white girls, you shocked people at your job when you married a dark skinned braided haired black woman
- You miss going down to the mailroom for errands because you need an excuse to be hanging out down there and discussing Hip Hop and Boxing news on company time
- One of your Systems Managers has cornrolls or dreadlocks
- The head of HR is still sporting an Afro
- Even though you are pushing 30, you still have Wutang Clan paraphenalia up in your cube
- One of the managers in the mail room has ever "joaned" (i.e. cracked or done the dozens) on you or made "head" jokes about you like Martin Lawrence
- One of your senior workers shows up every day in his cadillac pimpmobile
- You look up to the senior worker who shows up every day in his cadillac pimpmobile not because of his years of business experience or his insight, but because he is a "playa"
- You, the big black guy, are the worst basketball player in your office
- You and one of the Asian guys talk about how "phat" some of the women are at your job
- You hang out with one of the consultants because he is a "cool white boy"
- Instead of dressing up to go to work on Monday in order to start the week of right, you dress up on Friday in order to start the WEEKEND off right
- You admire your CEO, not because of his vision and skill at succeeding in the corporate world, but because he is a "playa"
- You have so many pictures up of your black relatives in your cubicle, people feel like humming the theme to "Good Times" whenever they leave your desk
- You and the other ghetto corporate people throw around the "n" word and/or subconsciously slip back into your indigenous dialects when there are no white people around
- You've ever had discussions about good hair and bad hair on your job
- The WHITE people at your job were offended by the "niggardly" incident in DC, while the BLACK people were the ones saying the DC government workers needed to grab a dictionary
- You ever gave the head of your union a high-five, a "pound" or other black ethnic greeting
- You ever gave the head of your union a high-five, a "pound" or other black ethnic greeting AND HE'S NOT BLACK
- You can draw from your own life in order to write this webpage
- After reading this and seeing yourself listed above countless times, you STILL don't think that you are a ghetto professional
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