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NEWS ARTICLES I WOULD WRITE FOR THE ONION

White Girl Tells Black Boyfriend "I Love You, You're My N*gg*"!

Racist Cops Think Black Man May Have Stolen Something

Intelligent Man Is Feared By Ignorant Masses

Biblical Typo: "Adam and Eve" Should Read as "Adam and Steve"

Insecure Man Belittles Women Who Are Too Good For Him

Ex-Crackhead Finds Religion and Tells People Who Are Way Better Off Than He Is How To Live

Black Man Gets Sore Feet Standing Up All Day At the Million Man March

Rodney King Riots Looter Really Misses The Good Ole Riot Days

Insecure Woman Sleeps Her Way To The Top

Teenagers Don't Think About The Future

Gun Control Lobbyists Think Criminals Will Follow Their Legislation

Straight Man Has Straight Man's Disease

Soft Spoken Man Gets Overlooked and Ignored

Ignorance Really Is Bliss

"Wigga" Wonders Why He Can't Use The "N" Word

Black Women Are Afraid To Date O.J.

Weak Minded Man Follows The Crowd Mindlessly

Newsflash: People Lie About Who They Really Are On The Internet

Paranoid Woman Thinks This Website Is Really About Her. It Is, You Know. It Really Is. She Just KNOWS It. She Can Tell. She's Not Being Fooled. No Way.

Immigrants Who Know Three Other Languages Chastised For Not Speaking Perfect English

Raggedy Ann Thinks She is Too Good For Andy

Racist Poor White Man Hates Richer More Educated Black Neighbors

Gold Digging Woman Can't Find A Decent Husband

Gangsta Rapper Calls Women "Bitches"

Run-DMC & The Beasty Boys T-Shirt Collects Dust In The Corner

James Brown Gets Hooked On Phonics

Pokemon Is Responsible For Rash of School Shootings

Parent Tells Teenager To Turn That God Damn Music Down

Drug Dealer Has No Conscious

Mean People Abuse The System To Get Back At Their Enemies

Sarcastic Man's Webpage Is Misunderstood By The Oversensitive

Southern Black Man Hates Ku Klux Klansmembers

White Man Afraid To Tell Mob of O.J. Fans At An O.J. Rally In The Hood That He Thinks O.J. Was Really Guilty

Insensitive Man Really Does Not Care

O.J. Simpson Writes Love Poems to Nicole

Nosy Woman Does Not Respect People's Privacy

Activists Lobby to Ban Water Since Drowning Death of Drunken White-Water Rafters

Crazy Old Man Picks Fight With Big Guy One Fourth His Age and Four Times His Size (Editor's note: This really happened)

Irresponsible Young Man Blames Other People For His Problems

Racist Hates Black Man Because He Married INTRA-Racially

People Ask Creative Black Guy Why He Calls Himself The Creative Brother

Weird, but true none the less!!!!

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