Shannon, He Deserved An Ass Whippin'

Dear Shannon (and other students who have been decked by jerks),

The "he" that deserved an ass-whippin' is not ye, it his he.

There is hardly EVER a reason to deck your instructor, even if you CAN beat him in sparring. Not unless you really feel like this person is seriously trying to hurt you. And even THEN, you have to decide if the fight is worth fighting or trying to either avoid or work out another way, just like you would in any other fight. In other words you only fight an instructor if the instructor is really trying to FIGHT you. That's the whole violence-as-a-last-resort thing.

Let me tell you a story:

Over a year ago, I had a teacher. He got carried away and nearly blinded me with a kick to the eye. Had I not been a guy with prior training coming back to learn some forms and improve who happened to be at blue belt instead of a dude with only a year or so of training as an adult, I'd be called myself the One-Eyed-Brother at my webpage. I kid you not. It was that bad. Thanks to an unusual level of flexibility and perceptive speed for a guy my size (and no, I STILL can't beat my current instructor---he's just too darn good) I was not hurt. Contrary to what some people thought who heard the story, my PRIDE was not hurt either.

You see the way I see it, I don't feel the need to compete with someone who's been training as long as I have been alive, so if I put pressure on him (not even deliberately mind you) in a DRILL then I must be pretty good. At any rate, I assessed the situation: no, I was not really all that hurt, no blood, no floating retinas, no scrapes, etc (later in the week I went to an eye doctor to double check--I'll write about that in another e-mail; it was a trip--the guy was impressed that I ducked the technique) and he looked like he was surprised I was still standing. After checking myself in the mirror, the only thing I did was close in on him nearly face to face, at lighting speed, just to let him know that I COULD and there was NOTHING he could do about it, and I LEFT that school after class. That's right I left. Since it was not a REAL fight, there was no need to fight him for real. Period. No matter how mad I was or how wronged I felt, it was not yet a real fight; therefore I avoided it. If he had tried to woof on me or OVERTLY assault me, then I'd be typing this from Lorton Pennetentiary for the Murdering Martial Artists website. Then I'd call myself The Homicidal Brother.

I saw him recently, and I was cordial, but I feel no respect for the man at all. Anybody who hurts or TRIES to hurt another martial artist for no good reason is a jerk who only deserves one thing: an ass whippin'. Really, if he had simply apologized, I would have given him the benefit of the doubt and dropped the whole thing (I'd still have went to the eye doctor though). Since assault is a crime, I prefer to just keep my distance from him and other types like that (who are overly competitive) because to me, they are childish and insecure. I do not train to learn how to just HURT people, I want to learn how to PROTECT good people from idiots.

You see, I have been in a FEW street fights, therefore I don't feel the need to prove to anybody above or below me in rank that I can fight unless I am in a tournament or taking a belt test. And even then, I don't go for broke unless we are doing full contact. And even in full contact, I will NOT beat someone until they drop down; if I sense or know I have the upper hand I STOP when the opponent is clearly on his way down. Period. I have been hit and kicked enough to know that I can take a hit and that taking a hit only proves one thing: being hit hurts.

The guy that decked you is a Jack Ass

That was the ULTIMATE in disrespect: you do NOT hit a teacher JUST because a teacher may be a cocky young man. Shannon, 15 year old boys are cocky by nature; I should know, I have fought enough of them in tournaments and I used to be a 15 year old boy. Yes, some of them think they can dazzle you if they outrank you, and one of them even lost his temper and was really trying to take me out, but I held my own and OUTPOINTED him. When I did knock him down because he was actually trying to do me harm, it was a blow to the chest, controlled, so that he would actually LIVE to be 16 and learn from his arrogance. And he did. I could see it.

He was wrong, he was cocky, he knew it, and he respected me afterwards even though I am a lower BELT. Had I decked that guy, I would be a first class moron, because I know I have been around the block longer than him because, like your kungfu student, I have had some prior training elsewhere (and I know that fist he threw: don't feel bad, it's a fist I have YET to see done on the street, and I have seen people pull off techniques in real fights).

The sempai/kohai or elder/junior relationship goes beyond belts. In Judo, I am a white belt. Some of the upper ranking underbelts in my new Judo place know that I also train in TangSooDo, and know some standing Jujitsu and while they can do me in at JUDO in a real fight, I have an edge because I have been training in the martial arts LONGER THAN THEY HAVE, plus I am big. If I deck them or put an armbar on them because they tell me that a jujitsu technique I do out of habit leaves me vulnerable in Judo (which they have) I am being nothing but a BULLY. That's right, a BULLY. The person with more experience in the martial arts has the responsibility not to try to hurt the less experience person for no good reason even if the less experienced person is in a senior position. All you did was correct him according to the dictates of your system, which is what an assistant instructor is supposed to do. If he does not want to learn Taekwondo according to Taekwondo standards, then he needs to kungfu his behind somewhere else. I do not do Jujitsu at Judo class I do JUDO. He should NOT be hitting you if your school does not allow contact to the face.

He may have learned how to fight, but he has NOT learned how to control himself or respect people. Now if he hit you because you were trying to hurt him, then hey, your bust. But I am assuming that is not the case, because from what you wrote, it appears Mr. Kungfu had an attitude problem from day one. It doesn't matter if he is about the same age as you: if he's been studying kungfu long enough to deck a brown belt, then he flat out knows better. If he pulled something like that on an elder brother at his kwoon, the Sifu would have went OFF.

It was the first time you got hit. That's all

You may be shocked because homeboy decked you. That's okay. So he was better than you at fighting that time. No big deal. He may have more time training. But no matter what, unless it was in self defense, he had no reason at all to do what he did.

What do I think YOU should do?

NO, DON'T ATTACK HIM, EVEN THOUGH HE DESERVES IT. You should let him know that you don't appreciate what he did. Period. Inform him that Taekwondo is a sport art and that his type of conduct is not welcome. Discuss the matter with your instructors and get their input. I understand that accidents happen, but this does not sound like one to me. If he continues to hurt you or other students, then he flat out has to go. I'm sure your teacher(s) will see to it that he leaves if he continues to be a jerk.

Shannon, you've learned what it is like to be hit. Congratulations. And you've also learned that some guys that study the martial arts are scum. Please don't end up like that kung fu guy. All he is doing is giving kungfu students a bad name. Do better than he did if the situation is ever reversed.