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YOU ARE DEFINITELY A GHETTO MARTIAL ARTIST IF....

You have ever heard the following: "Yeah, you know all dat ker-rah-dee stuff, but can you kick MY ass?"
You have ever TOLD anyone the following: "Yeah, you know all dat ker-rah-dee stuff, but can you kick MY ass?"
You have ever TOLD anyone the following: "Yeah, you know all dat ker-rah-dee stuff, but can you kick MY ass?" AND IT WAS YOUR SON
You have ever TOLD anyone the following: "Yeah, you know all dat ker-rah-dee stuff, but can you kick MY ass?" AND IT WAS YOUR SON, AND YOU'RE A WOMAN
You tell your friends that your latest weapons form is the "suh-ward" (i.e., "sword")
You've ever considered developing a jujitsu escape to be used in case you drop the soap while showering in prison
You've ever considered developing or applying a weapons form to soap-on-a-rope
You've ever knocked out a traditional martial artist with a chair
You've ever knocked anyone out with a cafeteria lunch tray (like Peyton Quinn did)
You've ever used your techniques to kill the cockroaches in your apartment
Your are a Black American, yet your name has as many vowel sounds in it as the name of the style you are studying
The first time you heard the name "WuTang" you thought it referred to the Rap group instead of the actual Shaolin temple where monks studied gung fu
You wanted to beat up the person who told you that the name "WuTang" is the name of an actual Shaolin temple where wutang monks studied gung fu because you thought he was playa hatin' on your favorite rap group
You DID beat up the person who told you that the name "WuTang" is the name of an actual Shaolin temple where wutang monks studied gung fu because you thought he was playa hatin' on your favorite rap group
You DID beat up the person who told you that the name "WuTang" is the name of an actual Shaolin temple where wutang monks studied gung fu because you thought he was playa hatin' on your favorite rap group AND YOU'RE A WOMAN
You DID beat up the person who told you that the name "WuTang" is the name of an actual Shaolin temple where wutang monks studied gung fu because you thought he was playa hatin' on your favorite rap group AND YOU'RE A WOMAN, AND YOU'RE NOT BLACK
Your fingernails have more colors than the Korean national flag
Your fingernails have more colors than the Korean national flag, AND YOU'RE KOREAN
Your hair or fingernail color matches the color of the graffitti on the outside of your dojo
Your fingernails are more lethal than your empty hand techniques
You have ever referred to your teacher by the "N" word (as in "my n*gga" or "that n*gga")
You have ever referred to your students by the "N" word (as in "y'all n*ggas" or "those n*ggas"
You have ever referred to your teacher by the "N" word (as in "my n*gga" or "that n*gga") AND YOU'RE NOT BLACK
You have ever referred to your students by the "N" word (as in "y'all n*ggas" or "those n*ggas" AND YOU'RE NOT BLACK
You have ever said the following before sparring: "Awl right, yo, let's do dis!"
You have ever referred to your students by the "N" word (as in "y'all n*ggas" or "those n*ggas" AND YOU'RE NOT BLACK BUT YOU DIDN'T GET BEATEN UP BECAUSE YOU ARE "DOWN" OR YOU ARE A "COOL WHITE BOY"
Your homemade "Afikan" martial art for "Afrikan Peoples and People of Color", which has an African name, is based on KOREAN techniques
You have ever referred to Fuk Yu No Kata (pronounced "fook-you-no-kata") as "F*ck You No Kata"
You have ever said you wanted to "learn dem numm-chucks"
You have ever said you study "Tack-Wawn-Doe"
You have ever worn oversized ear rings with your uniform
You have ever sucked your teeth and rolled your eyes at an instructor
Regardless of the fact that you are studying a "do" (philosophical or sport art) you find a way to turn it into a "jitsu" (combat art)
You are so ghetto that even though you are not a black belt, you fight better than your instructors
The only two finger technique you practice is the one you use to hold a joint
You have ever beaten anyone up with a shoe
You have ever "gritted" on another student or an instructor
You have ever sucked your teeth and rolled your eyes at an instructor AND YOU'RE NOT BLACK
You have ever "gritted" on another student or an instructor AND YOU'RE NOT BLACK
You have ever been tempted to pass a student on an exam because she is "phat"
You have ever been tempted to pass a student on an exam because she "got good hair"
You can't wait for a student to turn 18 because she is "phat"
You can't wait for a student to turn 18 because she "got good hair"
You DON'T wait for a student to turn 18 because she is "phat"
You DON'T wait for a student to turn 18 because she "got good hair"
Capoera reminds you of when you used to do break dancing as a kid
You have ever said the following when complementing someone on their technique: "Dat look-ded SMOOVE!"
You don't like to study certain grappling motions from the rear because they remind you of close encounters you had while you were in jail
You have to rush to prepare for your next test because you might end up getting "locked up" before exam time
You think that you can fight because you are good at doing "Tae Bo" when in reality, the reason that you can fight is because you are good at being GHET-TO
You still can't beat up your brother after years of martial arts training because he is so ghetto
You still can't beat up your sister after years of martial arts training because she is so ghetto
You still can't beat up your sister after years of martial arts training because she is so ghetto AND YOU'RE A GUY
The real reason you CAN beat up your brother after years of martial arts training is not your technique, it's because you are GHETTO
The real reason you CAN beat up your brother after years of martial arts training is not your technique, it's because you are GHETTO, AND YOU'RE A WOMAN
The real reason you CAN beat up your brother after years of martial arts training is not your technique, it's because you are GHETTO, AND YOU'RE A WOMAN. In addition, you are named after a country or a continent.
You have ever blocked a kick with your ass
If your teacher asks you if you can perform a kata or technique, your response is "Yeah, yo, no doubt!"
You think that "sticky hands" and "sticky fingers" refer to the same thing
You don't feel right unless you listen to Jay-Z or DMX before going to class or participating in a tournament
You have ever used your techniques on your Baby Daddy
You have ever used your techniques on your Baby Mamma
You have ever used your techniques on your Baby Mamma AND LOST
You have ever used your techniques on your Baby Mamma AND LOST, AND SHE HAS NEVER TAKEN A MARTIAL ARTS CLASS (she can fight because she's ghetto)
Your Baby Mamma knew she could not defeat your techniques, so she caught you with a hot pot of grits while you were sleeping
You have used your technique when fighting another woman over your Baby Daddy
Even though you've seen yourself in all of posts that have been presented on this topic, you STILL don't think that you're a ghetto martial artist

REMEMBER FOLKS: YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE BLACK TO BE A GHETTO MARTIAL ARTIST

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