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YOU MAY BE A GHETTO JEDI IF....
- You ever used you light saber to clean chitterlings
- The first time you felt the Force it was after you smoked a joint
- You don't respect a Jedi if his macking abilities are weaker than his
fighting skills
- You love killing Stormtroopers because they remind you of the K.K.K.
- You had reservations about killing Darth Vader because you think "he
might be a brother underneath all that"
- You think that the Tusken Raiders are "'bout it 'bout it"
- Your Granddaddy told you what it was like to be a Jedi during Segregation
- You make fun of the Jedis that can't dance
- You defeated the Emperor by beating him up after you had gotten him drunk
off of Gin & Juice
- You'd rather "bust a cap" in someone with your laser gun instead of using
your Jedi training
- You ever fried or barbecued a Ton-ton, dipped in barbecue sauce or hot sauce,
and served it with corn bread, greens and potato salad on the side, then washed it
down with some red Kool-Aid or some Iced Tea mixed with lemonade
- You give Mace Windu (Samuel Jackson's character) a high five or other
black handshake when you see him
- Before training a boy to be a Jedi you first show him how to be a playa
- Before freeing the black woman that Jabba the Hut held hostage with a chain
around her neck, you asked her for her phone number and told her that she was
"phatter than a muhfuh"
- Whenever you go to Endor, you have the Ewoks play some music while you
freestyle or bust a rhyme
- You asked Lando Calrisian (Billy Dee Williams' character) where he got his hair done
- You wanted to rescue Princess Leah because you thought she was "phat"
- Your mother ever told you "Boy, don't you be trying that mind trick on
ME!"
- You turned the Ewoks on to P-Funk
- You told the Emperor that he was a "beeeiiiaaatch"
- Your were more afraid of The Belt than you were of The Force when you were
a child
- You think that Han Solo was a "cool white boy"
- You and Yoda ever passed a forty bottle back and forth
- You ever beat anyone over the head with the blunt end of your light saber
- You use the Jedi Mind Trick to save you when you get caught cheating on
your girlfriend or boyfriend
- You ever told a wookie he needs to get his hair done
- You think that Lando Calrisian has good hair
- You ever showed Obi Wan Kenobi how to do the Electric Slide
- You where a cufi with you green, black and red Jedi robe
- The Jedi Mind Trick doesn't work on your Grandmother
- You ever convinced a wookie to grow dreadlocks or an afro
- You think Princess Leah would look better with braids and a sun tan
- You refer to Queen Amidala as Anakin's "Baby Mama"
- You got kicked out of a Jedi council meeting because you were "joaning" or making wise cracks on one of the geeky Jedis
- You great other Jedis with "May the force be wit' chu, playa"
- You think a Jedi is weak if he has to use the mind trick to get laid
- You've ever thrown down your light saber during a fight and went toe to toe
with your opponent
- You practice your light saber techniques "to the beat" of hip hop or other
dance music
- Your X-Wing fighter has the latest in stereo equipment
- Your X-Wing fighter has a cooler in it that contains Red Bull, Christian Brothers,
Alize, or a bottle of Vodka or Gin
- When training young Annakin to fight the first thing you show him is how
to use the light saber to "whip some ass"
- You use the force to keep your cholestorol down because you eat a lot of
soul food
- You didn't want to go to the ice planet Hoth because you can't stand the cold
- You ever used a light saber to curl your hair
- You think that Jabba the Hut is "da man" because of all of his money and
women from different parts of the galaxy
- You refer to Jar-Jar Binks as "my n*gg**"
- You ever used the force to choke a crackhead
- Darth Vader told you "Nah Luke, I ain't your father!"
HILLARIOUS ADDITIONS
from Qawi:
- You got a R2 Droid in the back of your '72 Caprice or Cutlass
- You ever told Chewbacca to get cornrows or braids
- You asked Chewbacca where he got his "weave" from
- Your homie has a Millennium Falcon with tinted windows and crome
landing gear
- You ever used a LightSaber to jack someones LandSpeeder
- You think the Dark Side of the Force is some Affirmative Action Program
or on the KFC Menu
- Your Protocol Droid (C3PO) is needed to translate Ebonics to English
- Your peeps' have been instructed to ALWAYS tell Boba Fett (Bounty
Hunter) you ain't home
- You brought your LightSaber to P-Funk Party, heard the song
"Flashlight", and literally "Tore the Roof Off the Sucka"
- You lived in Public Housing on the Planet Tatooine
- Your Protocol Droid (C3PO) can call you "My N*gga" in over 5,000languages
- Lando Calrissian (Billy Dee Williams) offered you a Colt '45 (Malt
Liquor) during your last Cloud City visit
- You ever played Spades, Bid Whist, or Dominoes at the Creature Cantina
- In 1983, when Return of the Jedi premiered, your wookie friends hadJheri Curls.
- You remember when Darth Maul rapped with WuTang.
- Your Jedi Robe has a FUBU or KANI logo.
- Your Jedi Robe is BRIGHT ORANGE and has a FUBU or KANI Logo
- You had a Light Saber Switchblade in High School
- You ever traded Food Stamps for Federation Credits
- Your Jedi rations consisted of Bantha fingers and Mambo Sauce
More from Cecil (Creative Brother)
- You ever told Darth Morl that he "ain't sh*t"
- You wear a dew-rag, scarf, or Malcolm X cap with your Jedi Robe
- Your Grandmother remembers when it was "black folks" sitting in the back of a X-Wing fighter instead of "one of dem droids"
- You ever used the force to pick a switch so that your aunt could spank you
- You think that the term "Dark Side of The Force" is part of some racist conspiracy against the Black Man
From WBohanna@aol.com:
- you used The Force to look better than Shaft.
- your X-wing fighter has fuzzy dice hanging from the rear viewmirror.
- you use The Force to keep all of the other pimps out of your operating area.
- you used your light saber to turn your afro into a fade.
- you used the Jedi mind trick to win a round of the dozens.
- you used The Force to help a brother get away from The Man on aN episode
of COPS.
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