YOU MAY BE A GHETTO JEDI IF....

• You ever used you light saber to clean chitterlings
• The first time you felt the Force it was after you smoked a joint
• You don't respect a Jedi if his macking abilities are weaker than his fighting skills
• You love killing Stormtroopers because they remind you of the K.K.K.
• You had reservations about killing Darth Vader because you think "he might be a brother underneath all that"
• You think that the Tusken Raiders are "'bout it 'bout it"
• Your Granddaddy told you what it was like to be a Jedi during Segregation
• You make fun of the Jedis that can't dance
• You defeated the Emperor by beating him up after you had gotten him drunk off of Gin & Juice
• You'd rather "bust a cap" in someone with your laser gun instead of using your Jedi training
• You ever fried or barbecued a Ton-ton, dipped in barbecue sauce or hot sauce, and served it with corn bread, greens and potato salad on the side, then washed it down with some red Kool-Aid or some Iced Tea mixed with lemonade
• You give Mace Windu (Samuel Jackson's character) a high five or other black handshake when you see him
• Before training a boy to be a Jedi you first show him how to be a playa
• Before freeing the black woman that Jabba the Hut held hostage with a chain around her neck, you asked her for her phone number and told her that she was "phatter than a muhfuh"
• Whenever you go to Endor, you have the Ewoks play some music while you freestyle or bust a rhyme
• You asked Lando Calrisian (Billy Dee Williams' character) where he got his hair done
• You wanted to rescue Princess Leah because you thought she was "phat"
• Your mother ever told you "Boy, don't you be trying that mind trick on ME!"
• You turned the Ewoks on to P-Funk
• You told the Emperor that he was a "beeeiiiaaatch"
• Your were more afraid of The Belt than you were of The Force when you were a child
• You think that Han Solo was a "cool white boy"
• You and Yoda ever passed a forty bottle back and forth
• You ever beat anyone over the head with the blunt end of your light saber
• You use the Jedi Mind Trick to save you when you get caught cheating on your girlfriend or boyfriend
• You ever told a wookie he needs to get his hair done
• You think that Lando Calrisian has good hair
• You ever showed Obi Wan Kenobi how to do the Electric Slide
• You where a cufi with you green, black and red Jedi robe
• The Jedi Mind Trick doesn't work on your Grandmother
• You ever convinced a wookie to grow dreadlocks or an afro
• You think Princess Leah would look better with braids and a sun tan
• You refer to Queen Amidala as Anakin's "Baby Mama"
• You got kicked out of a Jedi council meeting because you were "joaning" or making wise cracks on one of the geeky Jedis
• You great other Jedis with "May the force be wit' chu, playa"
• You think a Jedi is weak if he has to use the mind trick to get laid
• You've ever thrown down your light saber during a fight and went toe to toe with your opponent
• You practice your light saber techniques "to the beat" of hip hop or other dance music
• Your X-Wing fighter has the latest in stereo equipment
• Your X-Wing fighter has a cooler in it that contains Red Bull, Christian Brothers, Alize, or a bottle of Vodka or Gin
• When training young Annakin to fight the first thing you show him is how to use the light saber to "whip some ass"
• You use the force to keep your cholestorol down because you eat a lot of soul food
• You didn't want to go to the ice planet Hoth because you can't stand the cold
• You ever used a light saber to curl your hair
• You think that Jabba the Hut is "da man" because of all of his money and women from different parts of the galaxy
• You refer to Jar-Jar Binks as "my n*gg**"
• You ever used the force to choke a crackhead
• Darth Vader told you "Nah Luke, I ain't your father!"